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mrtoadswildrid
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Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 6/9/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: Theatre is just about my favortie thing to do in the entire world! I love to sing, act and dance. I looooooooooove hanging out with freinds ecpesially down at the beach. Hanging with freinds is probably the best part thing like. I also like to go Surf, when I get the chance to, another favorite hobby of mine is women jk once more. Well thats pretty much it. yup. mmhmm. oh yeah. mmhmm yup yup. Are you still reading this? Get a life go outside and play jeese!
Expertise: Theatre
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  Vivalabrent
Member Since:
10/6/2003
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| To all of my friends I apologize from the deepest part of my heart. I feel like latley I have just been letting people down. For those who were at my house last night, this doesn't have to do with the actions that took place here. I don't exactly know why but I just feel that everything I do to be closer as frends just backfires, I think that I'm going in a bright direction, then I realize that it's just a facade and instead of moving closer as friends with people, they end up running away. I don't know what to do anymore. My only escape is the rehearsals for the show, but looking forward I don't have anything for the next week. I feel as though I'm in the middle of the ocean watching a Tidal wave coming for me and I have nothing to save me and nowhere to go to. All alone.......... I see problems keep occuring so I asses the sitation and do what is right, and all it does is make things worse. It feels that slowly but surely my friendships with those closest to me, are shattering. But then I realize that things are the same and are unchanged but there is still that pit of the stomach feeling I keep getting that everything is wrong. While driving today I couldn't help but breaking down crying. All my emotions are just running haywire, and none of them know what to do. No matter what I do the feeling just keeps getting stronger. I can't help it and I don't know what to do........... Why this happened I don't know. Is it really happening? No answer. All that I do know is that I have to change something major or everything is going to fall apart even more. With this post I ask nothing of anybody, it is more for myself to get out there what I am feeling. I am truely sorry to anyone I have hurt, or made uncomfortable when I"m around them. I don't even ask for forgiveness, I just want everyone to know how sorry I feel. | | |
| I hope everyone had a fantstic Thanksgiving. It was quite strange at my house b/c Im used to having big gatherings of family, but this Year it was just my parents and myself. Fun none the less though. Well I cannot help it, but it seems the longer I have away frm this girl the stronger my feelings for her grow, I feel that I almost Love her....................................... I know she said he doesn't have the same feelings, I am keeping a good distance so we can stay friends, b/c I do'nt want to jeapordize that at all. I am only glad to have such great friends, and is not a crime for her to not like me back, But it still doesn't change teh way I feel, I'm fighting a battle right now, an dI just hope I can pull through in the end an deverything will come up with bother her and I being happy............ | | |
| Ok. I don't usually take dreams as an iterpretation of feelings in the real world, but I had one the other night that seems to personify my feelings at the moment and I'm going to share it with you all:
The girl I am having alot of feeling's for is the damsel in this story,I played a role of a superhero in the dream. So "the girl" was in alot of danger, and I came in to save her. I took her with me away from the danger to a safe place (well thats the feeling I was having It didn't specifically say it I was just following my gut feeling)We then ended up in an elevator with other people, and and took it to the floor that the other men in the elevator said would be a safe place for her to be. As soon as the doors opened I ran out, without thinking. The second I exited the elevator I realized the entire floor was a blazing inferno suddenly I looked back to see the other men in the elevator grab her, she began to scream out for me but the doors quickly shut and the elevator was gone. I just fell to my knees screaming b/c I knew I had lost her, and then I woke up.
The only thing though is that I don't believe that, that was the end of
the dream b/c right before I woke up I knew that my dream self knew that it couldn't end like this, and was just about to go after her and put a proper ending to everything. The dream though comes back to me every night before I fall asleep. I just want to fall back into it so I can entirely know the outcome. I just posted it on here to hear what anyone thinks of it, if I am taking it into too much of a deep thought, or if I should really pay attention to the detail and try and understand if there is meaning behind it. | | |
| So, I like someone new, I don't think she has any idea, a couple people I have told so far but I don't want it to get all the way out there until I have come face to face and tel her myself. It's was hard for me to even tell my friends who it was, so I can't imagine at teh moment how it will be when I tell her. But my hearts racing and I can't wait to see her again.................. Maybe tomorrow. | | |
| So, Updating form dusty ol' Brent land. Remindmylelf never to call myself that agian. Havn't talked to many people on here in a while. How is everybody doing that I haven't heard from in a while?(Just comment back with your answer) So Teahouse opens this thursday, 7:30 and also the same time on Sat. Should be fun to see. Well I hope that I can keep up with the updating more often. PS check my LJ www.livejournal.com/vivalabrent to see my story about the O.A.R. It is amazing. Love you all I'll try and make another entry soon. | | |
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